What’s the purpose?

One of the hardest challenges of being single without children is finding purpose and meaning in everyday life.

Recently, I was planning my day when I took a moment to see what my friends were doing.

One friend was rushing around to get her five kids off to school and her husband to work. Another was planning a wedding. Another was going to take care of her widowed mother.

Another was getting the final plans of her son's baptism together. Another was sewing sleeves onto her daughter's prom dress prom dress .

Another was planning a 20th anniversary trip. Another was getting her son ready for his mission.

Another was helping with a child’s science project. Another was getting the house ready for her son to return from his mission.

Each of these friends of mine has a life that is full of purpose. Yes, their lives are overwhelming, exhausting and can even seem mundane at times, but they are purposeful. Their lives are filled with people who need and depend on them; thus, the challenge of being single.

A stake president told a single friend of mine that he thought the hardest part of being single would be to find purpose in everyday life. He was exactly right! We don’ the bridal boutique the bridal boutique;t always have a built-in purpose like a mom or wife does; we often need to create it. Some days with the demands of work, home projects or relationships, that is easy to do, but there are many times when it is difficult to find that purpose or a reason to roll out of bed in the morning.

Having purpose helps us to feel needed, wanted and loved; it is what motivates and drives us. So if we do not feel that we have purpose in our lives or play a role in other people's lives, it is easy to feel useless, unloved and lack motivation to move forward.

In "Man's Search for Meaning," Friedrich Nietzche said, “He who has a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any how.”

We saw this in the life of Aron Rolston, online prom dresses the young man who cut off his arm in 2003 in order to free himself after becoming trapped for 127 hours while rock climbing. Of course we were fascinated and couldn’t help but ask ourselves the question, “Could I have done that?” In an interview with CBS, he said, “But really it was a very simple thing, inexpensive flower girl dress like, 'I'm gonna do what I have to do in order to get back to the people who are important to me.'"

Ralston had a "why" and so was able to deal with the "how," despite how difficult or painful it was.

If we can fill our life with "whys," it makes the "hows" in this unexpected life so much easier.

That is why a job saks 5th avenue mother of the bride dresses , nieces and nephews, callings in the church, socials, being needed by others, giving of ourselves, etc. wedding dresses beach weddings mother , mean so much to those of us who are single without children; they give us a "why."

Sometimes we need to create the "whys," while others have more "whys" than they know what to do with.

To fill my life with purpose, to give me some "whys," I will plan luncheons, swim parties, invite families to dinner, keep an exercise program, find people to serve, invent projects, bake goodies for others, go to an institute class, accept any offer to help out, be there for my parents, keep in touch with old friends, etc.

If we do not find purpose in life, we wander aimlessly. If we do not feel that we have families or people who depend on us, we don’t see the "whys" in our lives, so we aren’t sure of the "hows," and in the process we can get lost.

I have found that my greatest purpose, the very thing that gives me the most "whys" comes from being a disciple of Jesus Christ. In the gospel, we are reminded of who we are and our relation to not only our Heavenly Father but to one another. We know for a fact "why" we are here on the earth: to love and serve one another, to live a Christ-like life. We are part of a bigger plan, and our purpose extends far beyond the tasks of doing laundry or planning an event. There are those who need us, look to us and count on us to help them return to our heavenly home, regardless of whether we are married, single, divorced, widowed, childless or jobless.

President James E. Faust said, “Discipleship brings purpose to our lives so that rather than wandering aimlessly, we walk steadily on that straight and narrow way that leads us back to our Heavenly Father. Discipleship brings us comfort in times of sorrow, peace of conscience and joy in service — all of which help us to be more like Jesus." (James E. Faust, "Discipleship," Ensign, November 2006)

We are instruments in God’s hands to bring about many great and wonderful things. The gospel, the church, the scriptures and our leaders not only give us the "whys" but also teach us the "hows."

Though I still fill my days with work, friends and projects so that I can fill up my life with purpose and meaning, at the end of the day, I find that my greatest purpose and direction comes from knowing the plan and understanding my role in it. After all, "I'm gonna do what I have to do in order to get back to the people who are important to me."

Becky Thomas has a Family Living degree from BYU. She has learned that though life does not go as we expect it to, red cocktail dresses for juniors red cocktail dresses for juniors it can still be so much more than we ever imagined. Becky's column, "The Unexpected Life," appears on zoodress.com on Sundays.

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